by Ivar Heissler
Halfway through this federal campaign, voter cynicism and apathy have become a major concern for party strategists. January 23, 2006, with post Xmas blues and a blizzard a distinct possibility, might have a record low number of citizens showing up at the polling stations. Everybody seems to know already that neither the Liberals nor the Conservatives will be able to bring a governing majority to the House of Commons.
"What's the point?" murmurs Joe Citizen into the ear of his beloved spouse Jim Civic, "plus ça change, plus ça reste le même." One keeps watching "Fear Factor" while the other returns to the kitchen to watch the pizza rise in the oven. And both blissfully ignore the knocks on the door by their local candidates.
 | | With tax cuts, we should now have the money in our pockets to pay the user fees, increased property taxes and other services that are no longer funded by tax revenues. |
The time has come for the two major parties to instill some enthusiasm in their constituents for their candidates and promote them as the true philanthropists they are. This campaign should be about giving, not blaming.
Instead of being torn between nuances of political ideologies, the voters will then gladly place their crosses at the name of the most giving candidate.
Let's forget about the sponsorship scandal, the HRDC scandal, the gun-control-registry scandal or outrageous expense accounts, for which we blame the present Liberal government under Paul Martin.
Neither should we judge Stephen Harper, the leader of the Reformed Conservative Alliance, for his lack of charisma or his regurgitated neo-conservative political platform. It is not his fault that Mike Harris stole the term "Common Sense Revolution", before he could claim it. Admittedly "Standing up for Canada" is a poor substitute slogan. Canadians do that all the time for all kinds of reasons, regardless of their political persuasion. Perhaps Mr. Harper can persuade his soul mate David Frum to find a suitable catch phrase for him, similar to the "axis of evil"? Perhaps a resounding battle cry, like "The Devil's Coalition" or "We believe in Steve; Martin is a fartin'."
Our politicians have given us so much and promised even more. It is the positive things that we should concentrate on. Most prominent among their generous gifts are the tax cuts.
Mind you, says the cynic, there are still some unenlightened persons among us who believe that taxes have been introduced for specific purposes: infrastructures, defense, social programs, health care, education, etc. According to them, tax reduction will automatically jeopardize these programs. That may have been true in the old days before globalization, when we could concentrate on "law, order, and good government." However, that era climaxed in Pierre Trudeau's "Just Society", ending long ago with a fuddle-duddle.
In the "new economy" the bottom line is way on top, and "deficit" is where it belongs, in fiscal hell. It takes a lot of courage to download financial responsibilities to lower-tier governments, to identify and to eliminate unnecessary government programs, to run the country like a super Wal-Mart. As a result Canada enjoys a huge surplus at the federal level, which according to Paul Martin, is the envy of the world. In this light, little problems such as crumbling infrastructures, a starving health care system and curtailed social programs appear to be rather trivial in nature.
With tax cuts, we should now have the money in our pockets to pay the user fees, increased property taxes and other services that are no longer funded by tax revenues. According to Messrs. Harper and Martin, there are more tax cuts to come. We must be grateful for that.
Tax cuts are bringing this beautiful country of ours on a level playing field with Third-World economies, and thus maintaining our competitive edge. Reduced government social programs are designed to create and to maintain a sizable population of poor people who will constitute a cheap source of labour. We are well on our way with that program; already a good number of entrepreneurs have been persuaded to relocate their sweatshops to Canada.
In addition one must not underestimate the positive ripple effect of poverty. In order to keep the masses docile and away from any revolutionary ideas, there is a growing need for community legal experts and their support staff — pawn shops, loan sharks, prisons, professional do-gooders, and food bank operators. We ought to give heartfelt thanks to the bright minds that came up with these ideas to battle unemployment. Tax cuts create jobs and cheaper consumer products!
The beauty of tax cuts is that they are meant to be spent, not kept.
"Then I might just as well pay the taxes, if I can't keep the money," the unenlightened argue. Obviously they do not comprehend the difference that exists between being robbed of your hard-earned money before you have seen it, and the pride you experience when you pull out your wallet to pay only for those goods and services that you really need. Unfailingly, the unenlightened will respond with, "Damn the tax cuts. My needs have not changed, but now I can't afford to pay for them. How do you explain that?"
We cannot lose sight of the big picture because of a few isolated cases. There will always be individuals who are never satisfied, no matter how much you give them. Our political leaders are confident that the hardworking taxpayers are managing quite well under the new system. As a matter of fact, taxpayers now enjoy a higher disposable income than before, provided they stay healthy, keep their kids out of university, and don't grow old.
That little bit of extra ought to be spent on charity. There are two kinds of charities: direct and indirect donations. Directly, one could send a cheque to any of the countless charitable organizations who claim to be "that close" to a cure for any of the countless diseases that they are specializing in. Don't pay much attention to where your money really goes (executive salaries, PR consultants, plush offices); look forward to the income tax receipt. There is another tax cut for you!
One should also give non-perishable items to the local food bank. Food banks play an important role in the new economy. Their job is to keep the masses docile and away from mischief. There are at least five million people in Canada who live in poverty. Should they ever start a riot like we have seen in Paris, France — well folks, that would take care of all your tax cut benefits. So dig into your pockets and do your share to avoid that disaster from happening. Surely your new SUV is worth a box of maccaroni & cheese dinner from time to time. It should be kept in mind, when considering the less fortunate in our society, that good nutrition might generate an undesirable level of anarchistic energy in these people. Give them comfort food — potato chips, cereals, canned spaghetti dinners, etc. — that'll make them happy and lazy.
The indirect types of charity ripe for your tax cut dollars are the countless lotteries run by the government and by charitable organizations. The net proceeds are used to build hospitals, provide funding for medical research and finance all kinds of worthwhile community projects. While you don't get a tax receipt for your donation, lotteries are so much fun! Besides, there is always the slim chance you might be the winner of the jackpot.
"Excuse me," comes this voice from the back of the room, "if the profits from gambling are used for public projects, isn't that some form of taxation? In 2001 the average Canadian lost about $400/per year on gambling, but not more than $200 of that money went into public projects. Would it not be preferable to levy a tax of $200? Thus the gambler would have an extra $200 to spend on something more valuable than a lottery ticket."
On the surface this looks like a good argument. However, a huge chunk of gambling revenue comes from people who are too poor to pay taxes. Without the lotteries we would not get a red penny out of them. Yet with all the good things we do for them, it is only fair that they make a contribution. God knows, they might even win some money and join the ranks of the hardworking taxpayers. As far as the argument for the $200 tax goes, do you know of anybody who has won the jackpot by paying his taxes? Finally, isn't it a wonderful feeling when we hear or read about yet another generous grant to local organizations? Friends, these funds do not come from your taxes. Gambling supports your community; therefore it is charity!
There you have it. Do you want to be a cynic? Then listen to the candidate who promises you more of the good stuff, who instills in you that cozy feeling of gratitude, the one who looks after your bottom line. Don't let the real problems of this country confuse you. Pollution, poverty, waste of resources, shortage of electricity, a torn-up social safety net, etc. are somebody else's problems, not yours.
Ivar Heissler, now of Stirling ON, has a very checkered past — from historian to archivist to document restorer to insurance salesman to handyman to welfare bum (during the Harris regime). He wrote a lot of articles against neo-conservatism. He reflects, "I am not sure whether they helped the counter-revolutionary cause, but they provided some comic relief." At age 65, he was "decriminalized" and now belongs to the senior citizen class, which, according to Mike Harris and his cronies, "have done so much for this country." Ivar grows vegetables for the local farmers' market and works on a book, based on his childhood memories of World War II.
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